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Karissa sat on her favorite stone bench in the Michaelite gardens, her
basket at her side as always. Usually, the beauty and serenity of
the surrounding life served to calm her and help to focus her mind, but
today was different for some reason. She was on edge, nervous.
The birdsongs that normally soothed her nerves were instead getting on
them.
The birds stopped singing suddenly and took to the air in a flutter of wings. Looking up, Karissa saw the source of the disturbance: Aeric, looking rather disheveled and worn, trudging down the main path towards her. Meeting her eyes with his, he raised a weary hand in greeting. "Aeric,” she began, “don't be cross with me. You must take me with you on your quest." She averted her eyes from his. "It is part of my destiny." She paused, waiting for a response, but got none. "Are you alright?” she asked. “What’s wrong?" Aeric looked at her with dark-circled eyes. "It's nothing. I was up all night studying at the Mage's Tower, that's all." He took a seat at the far end of the bench, across from her. "I apologize for the way I spoke to you yesterday. I understand what it's like to feel powerless in matters of your own life. The temptation to use magic to solve all your problems is one I almost did not survive. I have since learned to rely solely on my own abilities, no matter how limiting they may be at times." He offered up a tired smile, which remained only temporarily. "I have had little good experience with magic, Karissa. I understand that you are a wise person who would never let the power control you, but my gut reaction when I see such free and frequent use of magic is apprehension. I'm sorry if I upset or offended you." "I don't fault you for your hesitation, Aeric.” Karissa dismissed his apology. “I just... I just don't understand why. Magic is such a beautiful thing when used as a tool, not a quick..." Her voice trailed off. "I have studied magic since long before I came to Warwick, Aeric." She placed her hand on top of his. "Trust me, I won't hurt you with it." With her last words, Aeric felt a cold shiver run through his spine and he knew that she spoke from the heart. "Were you able to learn anything at the mage's tower?" She asked. Aeric stood up, subtly escaping her touch. "Not much, I'm afraid. I cannot believe that such a creature could exist for so long and yet have no records, no legends, no information of any kind written about it. After a point, I was merely glad the wizards has even heard of Shadowcast." Aeric paused for a moment. "I suppose I will seek out this woman Ptolomei mentioned, as well as the baron himself. I wish now that I had paid closer attention to his story about the Unknown Mercenaries…Eld Magnil knows he's told it often enough." Karissa smiled despite herself and stifled a giggle. Aeric looked over at her and returned to the stone bench. He sighed to himself. "It's good to see you smile, Karissa. It's been a while." He reached inside his doublet, and her smile faded as he withdrew the letter she had handed him the night before. He held it in his hand without opening it. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked gently. Karissa paused for a moment, not knowing what to say. She began to fidget with her handkerchief. "After you left, I stayed by the pool to continue scrying. The dream your raven had interrupted was still disturbing me. It was filled with much destruction and pain..." Karissa's voice trailed off and you could see she was lost in thought. "This quest...is very important to Warwick." Karissa looked up and straight into Aeric’s eyes. "You can not fail..." She looked down again. Her voice softer now, she continued. "If I go, I could cause you to fail...I will be used against you. I know it. I also know that if I do not go, you will surely fail." Aeric sat there for a moment, absorbing her words. "Karissa," he said softly, "I am going on this quest for one reason: to restore the honor of Clan Caerna. My own honor has already been forfeited by waiting this long to retrieve the dagger, and this business with the future of Warwick..." he trails off. "I'm…still not convinced that that letter was genuine. Now don't get me wrong," he added quickly, before she had a chance to argue. "I believe in time travel. I have to; I experienced it first-hand during my Page Turning. Back then, we had to stop the Black Widow in the present to prevent Shadowcast from ruling in the future. This seems like a similar situation, but I'm still not convinced. Not in light of what's been going on recently." Karissa opened her mouth to speak, but Aeric dismissed the approaching argument with a wave of his hand. "I am going on this quest. That is what's important. I may be doing it for different reasons than the queen would like, but the end result will be the same. That is the only thing that matters. And as for your divination..." Aeric hesitated, taking the edge off of his voice before continuing. "Karissa, I do not want to insult you by doubting your abilities, but…isn't it possible that you are wrong? That you could have misinterpreted the message of whatever vision you had? Or even, that some outside force is deliberately trying to mislead you?" "Yes, it is possible, but very unlikely. My second source could not be wrong too...” she paused almost as if reluctant to say more. “The Pendragon would not insist I go if it were not absolutely necessary. That is not its way. I'm just afraid.…" Aeric could see the concern on her face. "I'm afraid your feelings will betray you, Aeric. That Shadowcast will use me against you. I wish I didn't have to go with you." "If you're so afraid," Aeric stated flatly, "then don't go. Retract your offer. I don't care. I didn't want your help in the first place. This is my quest, despite what Catalyn and her letter say, and nobody else has any business going on it but me. I'm only taking you because she demands it." Karissa was shocked at the harshness of his words. She looked back up at Aeric's face. It was as if the kinder, gentler man she had come to know and care about over the last month and a half had been shut back up behind the old familiar mask of cold, emotionless flesh. "Make no mistake, Karissa,” Aeric continued, “I know you to be a wise and capable Druin. I have no doubt your abilities will be helpful, perhaps even vital, on this quest. However, I do not need to be burdened with someone who is doubtful of their abilities. If this is the case with you, then I would be better off alone." He turned his back to her. "Besides," he said in a much softer (if not necessarily gentler) voice, "I couldn't bear it if you died because of me." Then it was Karissa’s turn to get angry. "This was a bad idea,” she said. “I thought I could open up to you, share my fears, my aspirations. I was wrong. I thought I had broken through your shell and gotten to know the person inside. I guess I was wrong. I should never have come here today to warn you about your quest. Go on your quest alone then. See if you can do it on your own. You can't! You have to give up this notion that you are invincible, Aeric. You are one man with limited knowledge of magic." Karissa started to gather her belongings hastily. "I am going on this quest, Aeric, without you if need be." With basket in hand, she said, "the future of Warwick, and ultimately Blyth, is at stake here, and I will not have you jeopardize my people because of your stubbornness. The quest is too important. If you can't see that…then maybe you don't deserve the respect you have earned in my heart. Good day, Sir." Karissa began to storm off. The unexpected sound of laughter froze Karissa in her tracks. Some small voice in the back of her head told her that she’d never heard Aeric laugh before, but right now she was too angry to notice or care. Whirling to face him, she saw that he was standing with his hands on hips, shaking his head and chuckling softly. "What is so funny?" she demanded angrily. "I guess I had you wrong, Karissa. Where is the meek, self-doubting woman who was just here?" He looked around, a mock expression of amazement on his face. "Where did she go? I never knew you had such fire in you." Karissa was about to reply when he suddenly became serious, intensely so. "Forgive me if my words insulted you. I, too, realize the importance of this quest. That is why I hesitate to take you. I listen to your words and wonder if you have the self-confidence to succeed." He continues to shake his head in disbelief. "I do not understand you, Karissa," he says softly. "Just now, the air was filled with your words of worry and self-doubt, your fear of causing this quest to fail. Yet when I suggest that you listen to those feelings and stay behind, you become incensed and demand on going. Which is it?" "I don't see why you find it so amusing, Aeric.” She said, ignoring the question. “Haven't you ever been passionate about something despite being afraid of it? I have responsibilities to the people of Blyth, but I can't face them if I fail in the responsibilities to my people in Pern. Soon, I will pass those responsibilities on to someone else, but until then, I must do what I can to keep these lands safe, despite the effects it may have on me. "I am not afraid of going on this quest, Aeric,” she continued. “I never have been. I have known for more than a year now that I must go with you. I knew before you became a Caerna. I am only afraid of how things will change because of it. I'm afraid I will lose... everything." Her last words seemed to echo in Aeric’s mind. His eyes were on the ground, a ghost of a smile still playing upon his lips. But the knight was no longer laughing at her; he was laughing at the irony of the situation. "I know what it's like to lose everything," he said, looking up at her again. His eyes seemed as haunted as they ever were. Karissa got the impression that a lifetime's worth of pain and regret had been reflected in those eyes. "I do not fault you for your fear. Like you, I have gained much since coming to this kingdom. I don't want to lose any of it, either. But if I don't take a chance, if I'm selfish and refuse to put my life and everything I hold dear on the line for the greater good, then I don’t deserve any of it." His gaze returned to the ground again. "That was the hardest lesson I ever had to learn." "I warn you," she said, "be prepared to lose it all again. If things continue as foreseen..." Karissa stopped herself short. "Oh, that is a different matter. There are many things that need to be done before the journey. I do not need to burden you with anything more. Just promise me this...’breathe deeply of the morning mist and remember me. I am there in your heart.'" That being said, she turned to leave. "Karissa," Aeric said with a warning tone in his voice, "there are things you are keeping from me. First you claim that you knew about your involvement on this quest since before I was even a Caerna, and now you give me some cryptic line about my losing ‘everything’ again. You know more about what's going on than you're telling me." "Yes, Aeric. There are many things that I cannot tell you. When the time is right, you will know. But for now, you must trust that I know many things about this quest." "Karissa...if you have some foreknowledge of the future, if you have access to some information that could affect the outcome of this quest, don't you think you should share that information? I am no expert in interpreting visions or premonitions, but if it involves me somehow, I think I have a right to know...." "Aeric,” Karissa began, the frustration beginning to show in her voice. “Even if I were able to tell you, I couldn’t. What I know could change the final outcome of the quest. Altering time that drastically would not serve Warwick, only ourselves. I can't allow either of us to be that selfish. Know this, however: if you do not follow my guidance on this quest, we will not return to Warwick as we know it. The things I know are important steps that must be taken in order for us to succeed." And with that, Karissa left the garden, leaving only Aeric and his thoughts to keep him company. |
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